The time has come, Keep calm and eat cake

The tickets have just gone on sale for my first every burlesque performance and we’re all rhinestoning and practicing (and panicking) like sweatshop staff. I can’t go to bed without listening to my show music and running through my move in my head. Luckily we’re all in the same boat and all keen to help each other relaxed and confident with our act.

So what could be nicer than coming home to a package that upon opening is a heart warming supportive gift... it really is the thought that counts.

This awesome cake is from a company called ‘Baker days’ and what says it better than a tasty treat that fits straight through your lucky recipients’ door. You can add whatever picture or message you like and the cake will even include a card with message, balloons, candles and a hooter to really get the party going.

With a cute 1940’s style message we all know and love, adapted to my burlesque ‘keep calm and keep your tassels on’, made me stop freaking out about the next 4 weeks and put a big smile on my face.

Mine is a tasty chocolate cake but they come in a variety of flavours, including, Madeira Cake, Carrot cake, Fruit Cake (some people do like it, even when they’re not at a wedding) Double Chocolate Chip (yummy) and even Gluten and Wheat Free which is a very pleasant surprise!

The presentation is outstanding and the all important taste is light and fluffy but the best bit has to be unwrapping it and discovering what’s inside, the last thing you would ever expect in a box (that’s come through your letter box) is a cake.    

Looking at their facebook page people have been sending cakes all over the place, from Aberbeen to Afghanistan and who can blame them. I’m not one for sending birthday cards or any other type of cards for that matter; I think they’re pretty pointless. Flowers can be a nightmare, is the person going to be at home, will the delivery person turn up on time, will the flowers be dead/alive and gees they are always expensive. For £14.99 these cakes are the perfect solution and I have no doubt it will slap a smile on anyone’s face – why not give it a go!

Now I must get back to my costume making before I drive myself into mayor panic mode!

the man behind the......keyboard??

So online dating, always one of those grey areas, people say time and time again "but how do you know what's real and what's not?", "how can you trust anyone?"

And a fair point this is too....there's a screen and god knows how many miles between 2 people, it's easy to get a false confidence when your not face to face with someone. But you need to draw the line at possibly being so self concious that you can't even be a fake you...you have to be someone else??

I never thought I'd see the day, but yet oh my, here it is! Here's how the story goes:

So for some reason (unknown to myself really) I decided to venture back on to the terrible world that is Plenty of Fish (POF) Ladies (and Gents!) I don't recommend it. Any whoo...I'm viewing a guys profile, all sounds good 31, tall, hansom, good job, what's not to like. I get a message off him saying "I saw you looking, and liked what I saw"...nice win, win. We get chatting all is going well, after a couple of hours back and forth we swap numbers. He asks for a picture, nothing rude just of me (head shot) sure, not a problem - I've nothing to hide.

I ask for one in return......I get a reply "I'll be wearing my geeky glasses", no problem I have to wear glasses for computer work, 'tis fine.

Beep beep..."Oh dear god..." Is this a joke I think to myself. Any minute now...any minute, I'm expecting a oh hahaha that's not me really....

but no. All I get is a "so what do you think?" WHAT DO I THINK???!!! I think...you are not the same person, is what I bloody think! So I don't know how to approach it....I say "sooo when was your pof profile pic taken?". "Oh ages and ages ago"
Yeh so long ago you must have died and come back as someone else...who looks older than you?!Why do people think this it's a good idea to 1. use someone else's picture 2. use one that is wayyyy hotter than they could even dream of being, talk about setting yourself up to fail?!

I am a bit saddened that people think they stand a better chance by pretending to be someone else...Stand tall, stand proud, only way anyone will ever love you for you :-)

I don't think I need to say any more except: Judge for yourself. If anyone can pursuade me this is the same person, I'll be your personal slave for 24hrs!

POF Profile Pic - Sorry if you are the real owner of this face!

Pic 1. Ok no can't be the same person

Second prompt and chance for him to come clean,
He still just claimed it was a long time ago...
Gee whizz...no, just no.

P.S. Good luck to "Phil" if that is indeed his name, in finding his true love out there, fingers crossed for you.

Escaping the East End with folk

Sat in a vintage shop at what is essentially a sewing machine table, it has the mood of a back street Parisian café; the sounds of folk and acoustic which starts to drown my ears is somewhat perfect especially for a cold January, Wednesday evening. 

Farrago takes to the window first. The music stops abruptly “Martyn can you get me a glass of water?” continuing, the songs derived from people’s tales of trips around the world bring to life the pictures in my mind; perfect, being in the midst of planning my own mini adventure to Coachella. One line stands out about writing down your life…well here I am. Tales from the dessert there’s more to come…

 

Their final song after a mental trip around the world, the sweet and soft sounds from the melodica bring me right back to that Parisian café…I have to put the pen down and enjoy what’s left of the song.

A row of guitars on parade like a masterpiece of art, which of course they are. The closeness in the room is warming but the front door being open is a sharp reality. 

James McArthur grace the window, from the Parisian café to the field of the UK and Ireland, here’s folk in its true sense - uplifting. Watching people’s expressions as they walk down curtain road expecting to see manikins in the window but instead it’s alive and real. My mind wanders…

We make jokes with the band, back and forth about Coventry - I’m back in the room.

There’s something beautiful about watching someone play a stringed instrument. And the bit I love the most is the little squeak between changing chord, makes it so much more real.

The violin sends shivers down my spine, such a well rounded sound and one I’ve not heard for a long time. I never realised how well the violin and guitar complement each other – naive I suppose. 

The third and final band EvanJack, now the Somerset cider is making its mark, but what can I say…His voice is effortless and emotional. He clutches a vintage looking guitar, perfect for the surroundings. It’s good to hear some drums, and slightly unexpected. It’s interesting that someone so perfect and confident performing, between songs seems so shy, very endearing. 

 
The Music Box is a new folk night – find out more https://www.facebook.com/themusicboxfolk

From booze to burlesque

Out on a Friday night like the rest of the Nation, however I'm sat outside with work friends next to the Thames, it's a beautiful evening, no one can quite believe it's still January; not just because of the weather but because January has to be the looongest month ever. It should be illegal for January to be this long.

So conversation is flowing; as the drinks flow, the topics naturally turns somewhat blue, and they quickly turn to me for two reasons: Single girl dating in London and the discovery that I've finally started my Burlesque lessons.

The tales of dating start to come out, including the unfortunate experience with one 'gentleman', who described his first date as: "I thought I'd pick you up from the tube, go for a drive, we can have chat. Then if you like, I have a 4x4 with tinted windows... we can go and park up somewhere, and climb into the back seat...". ummm No. was my answer, well my exact answer was "that is way too seedy, I feel you would have to give me some cash at the end of the evening"...So I didn't go on that date funnily enough. However the tale doesn't end there, oh no no nooo...so he calls me up, to apologise, fine. He's chatting away, trying to ask inappropriate question, I don't oblige with a reply, he starts to get excited and whimpering down the phone. Yep you guessed it, he's just cum down the phone. Nice, classy. My ear has just been raped. He finishes with an "oh ohhh umm I should probably go". Yes you really should! haha... Is this what dating has come to, wanking down the phone at people? Gents, should this ever cross your mind, word of advice, don't!

Everyone is in fits of laughter, at least it was good for one thing.

So the conversation turns to the burlesque, and the ultimate question, "when is your show?", having only started last Tuesday, I feel somewhat ill-prepared to answer that question. However the lesson was great and a lot of fun, from wiggling your hips and shaking your ass, to pulling gloves off with your teeth. Pulling silly (meant to be sexy) faces in the mirror and trying to wipe the big smile off my face and turn it into something with attitude haha. Next week - de-robbing, watch this space. It's funny though, strutting down the street, in a bar, wherever, no problem but put a group of 20 girls in a room and suddenly everyone is overwhelmingly self-conscious, roll on Tuesday!   

I'll end it there with the final part of the conversation as a director turned to me and said "so you'll be performing at the summer party then?".